Sweet Potato and Cabbage Hash

I found this recipe in the July issue of Vegetarian Living, but I’ve adjusted it to our tastes (I am not that fond of soy sauce and find it very salty) and I simply fried the eggs rather than baking them. I rarely cook with cabbage, so it was great to try this. I’ve now made a few more dishes with cabbage; I love when I expand my culinary repertoire.

Ingredients:
4 sweet potatoes
water
oil
1 onion
1 tsp sugar
½ savoy cabbage
4 eggs
black pepper
nigella seeds

Instructions:
1. Wash the potatoes and boil them in the water for about 12-15 minutes. Drain, peel, and dice them.
2. Warm the oil in a frying pan. Chop the onion and add it to the pan. After a few minutes, add the sugar and stir.
3. Wash and chop the cabbage and add it and the potatoes to the pan. Fry for about 10 minutes.
4. Push the cabbage and potatoes to the sides of the pan and crack the eggs into the middle. Fry them until just set.
5. Season with pepper and nigella and serve.

Light Lunch

Usually about once a week, I work from home. You might think this sounds ideal and that I loaf around on the sofa, but that’s actually not how the day goes. I work harder from home than I do from the office because there are in some ways fewer distractions. I don’t have meetings to attend, I don’t run into people every time I nip down the hallway to the loo, I don’t have students knocking on my door, and so on. Instead, I just sit at my computer and work (except for short breaks to make another cup of rooibos tea).

I certainly don’t take the time to make myself a big lunch. My staple lunches include matzoh topped with crunchy peanut butter and slices of banana or grilled cheese sandwiches. For the latter, I’ve lately been adding slices of Cheatin’ Meat for a little extra protein and I put the cheese and “meat” on hearty rye bread or whole-grain pita (such as Food Doctor’s cereal pita) before toasting or grilling it for a few minutes.

I end up with a fast, light, healthy lunch that doesn’t take time away from my work.

Corn Fritters

This is a savoury sort of pancakes that can be served for a light lunch or dinner. I served it with a tangle of watercress and the yellow of the fritters and the green of the watercress combined to make a nice summery look on the plate.

I’ve also sometimes added a tablespoonful of milled seeds (pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, etc) to the batter, because they’re healthy and add a nice full, nutty undertone.

When I served them, I accidentally called them critters. Let me tell you that critters are not appetising; if they were, I wouldn’t be a vegetarian, I guess. So make sure you get the name right when you serve them or you’ll end up with surprised and disgusted dinner guests.

Ingredients:
½ cup flour (I used whole wheat)
¼ cup cornmeal (polenta)
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp sugar
1 pinch salt
1 pinch black pepper
1 pinch smoked paprika
1/3 cup milk
2 eggs
1 tin corn
oil

Instructions:
1. Mix the flour, cornmeal, baking powder, sugar, salt, pepper, and paprika.
2. Blend in the milk and eggs, stirring to get rid of any lumps.
3. Mix in the corn.
4. Warm the oil in a frying pan and fry fritters a few at a time. Keep them warm in the oven until serving.

Protection

In some families, including mine, there’s this idea that if you’re gay, there are certain members of the family who can’t handle that fact. And so you are supposed to lie or at least omit facts and not worry people. In my case, this has to do with older and more conservative relatives.

So when M and I went on holiday recently, all I told some relatives was that I was going away with a friend. I don’t like lying and I don’t like downplaying M’s importance in my life. It all feels wrong. She’s my partner and she’s the woman I hope to be with for the rest of my days. Why should I be expected to hide that? I hate when my grandmother asks me if I’m dating anyone or if there’s anyone special in my life and I have to say no even though the truth is that there is someone very special in my life.

I guess some people worry that older relatives, such as grandparents, won’t get it and might find the news shocking. So we’re supposed to protect them. But I wonder who we’re really protecting. Are we protecting ourselves, because we don’t know how to broach the subject? Are we protecting our parents, because they don’t want our grandparents to think that they (i.e. our parents) didn’t know how to raise children and therefore ended up with gay ones? Are we genuinely protecting our grandparents because they’d find the thought of gay grandchildren so disturbing that they might disown us or even have heart attacks due to the shock? Is it some combination of all of these?

I suspect we’re doing ourselves a disservice but not being honest. We’re not allowing our grandparents (or whoever) to know who we really are or to be part of our lives. We’re missing out on a potentially stronger relationship with those who we are supposedly protecting. We’re denying them a chance to get to know our partners too.

If our parents’ generation thinks we shouldn’t tell our grandparents’ generation, then I for one will agree with what they think best. I’m not convinced by it, but maybe I’m following their advice because I want to protect myself and my relatives. Protection isn’t always the best thing, however.

Aubergine Stir-Fry

Aubergine is not the typical ingredient in a stir-fry, but it works well as a base for other flavours. Here, for example, I give it a slightly Asian taste with miso paste and udon noodles.

And I like to eat a spoonful of peanut butter while cooking for an extra shot of protein.

Ingredients:
1 large aubergine
salt
oil
1 package sugar snap peas
5-6 radishes
other veg as desired
1 tbsp miso paste
2 tbsp peanut butter
2 tbsp yogurt
1 package udon noodles
chilli flakes

Instructions:
1. Wash and chop the aubergine into small pieces. Salt the pieces lightly and then fry them in oil, stirring often, for 8-10 minutes.
2. Wash and add the sugar snap peas. Wash, slice, and add the radishes. Add any other veg. Stir-fry another 5-10 minutes, stirring often.
3. Add the miso, peanut butter, and yogurt. Mix well.
4. Add the noodles and stir-fry for another 2 or 3 minutes. Season with chilli flakes.

Lesbian Hair Styles

About a month ago, I got a haircut, and it reminded me of all the assumptions that go with lesbians and hair. The idea is that if you’re a real dyke, you must have short hair. Hmm.

I dated one woman who thought I was too femme and was sure I’d leave her for a man. One reason why she thought this was because I had shoulder-length hair. As it happened, I left her for another woman -- one who appreciated my longish curls.

So why don’t I have short hair like a “real” lesbian? First of all, I don’t buy into the idea that you have to look and dress a certain way to be part of a community. Many people seem to believe that uniformity in appearance creates a community, but I think shared beliefs and values works even better. To be a lesbian, for example, all that’s required is that you are a woman (however you define woman) who’s attracted to other women. You don’t need to cut off all your hair and wear flannel lumberjack shirts to prove that you’re a gay woman.

And personally, I look pretty silly with very short hair. I get a big Jewfro going on and my nose sticks out like a beak. A bird with a mass of curls on its head is not a good look.

My recent haircut was slightly shorter than I would have liked, to be honest. My hair is now chin-length rather than shoulder-length and I can’t pull it back into a ponytail. But it’ll grow. And M seems to like it. Incidentally, my sweetheart has short hair. And some friends of mine complained that she was a “typical lesbian” because of her hairstyle and her clothes.

Too lesbian, not lesbian enough. It’s hard to win in the lesbian community. Maybe if we stopped criticizing others more and just concentrated on ourselves and our own appearances, our lesbian community might be stronger. And it also might look a bit better – some of the hairstyles I’ve seen on dykes have been pretty bad, after all.

By the way, check out Lesbian Hair.