Lesbian Hair Styles

About a month ago, I got a haircut, and it reminded me of all the assumptions that go with lesbians and hair. The idea is that if you’re a real dyke, you must have short hair. Hmm.

I dated one woman who thought I was too femme and was sure I’d leave her for a man. One reason why she thought this was because I had shoulder-length hair. As it happened, I left her for another woman -- one who appreciated my longish curls.

So why don’t I have short hair like a “real” lesbian? First of all, I don’t buy into the idea that you have to look and dress a certain way to be part of a community. Many people seem to believe that uniformity in appearance creates a community, but I think shared beliefs and values works even better. To be a lesbian, for example, all that’s required is that you are a woman (however you define woman) who’s attracted to other women. You don’t need to cut off all your hair and wear flannel lumberjack shirts to prove that you’re a gay woman.

And personally, I look pretty silly with very short hair. I get a big Jewfro going on and my nose sticks out like a beak. A bird with a mass of curls on its head is not a good look.

My recent haircut was slightly shorter than I would have liked, to be honest. My hair is now chin-length rather than shoulder-length and I can’t pull it back into a ponytail. But it’ll grow. And M seems to like it. Incidentally, my sweetheart has short hair. And some friends of mine complained that she was a “typical lesbian” because of her hairstyle and her clothes.

Too lesbian, not lesbian enough. It’s hard to win in the lesbian community. Maybe if we stopped criticizing others more and just concentrated on ourselves and our own appearances, our lesbian community might be stronger. And it also might look a bit better – some of the hairstyles I’ve seen on dykes have been pretty bad, after all.

By the way, check out Lesbian Hair.